For the rest of November, every day, the Brelby Buzz will be bringing you the second installment of the November Blogathon. Thirty days, thirty original posts from Brelby’s Company Members and collaborative artists of Season 8. Each post will revolve around a word that artist considers to be integral to what art and Brelby means to them.
By Fernando Perez
When I try to think about what word drives my life, perseverance is always the one that continuously pops into my head. Anyone who has ever spoken with me will agree that no matter how well I may be doing “career wise,” I’m never truly happy. “You must be ecstatic with how your design came out,” has been a statement I’ve heard quite a bit while I’ve been at Brelby and every time the little voice inside my head says “No.” Now, of course I’m happy with how the final product comes out in the end but there is always an aspect that I feel I could have done better. Artists will say that about their work and this is why I push myself as hard as I do, but not for the reason that seems obvious.
Here is the truth: I am not an artist and I will never consider myself one. Brelby is overflowing with artists who have talent to change the world, but I do not throw my hat into that ring. I don’t say this to come off pretentious or even to put myself above everyone as if I’m trying to say I’m better than an artist. I say this because every morning when I wake up, I am an entertainer.
In my eye, artists are special; they change the world. They have that particular feeling that they can never truly put their finger on that sets them apart from everyone else. They work hard day in and day out and when it comes to it, they have created art.
Me? I’m an entertainer. Career speaking, I’ve never truly felt like I belonged in theater or film. I’ve always felt like an imposter whenever I’m around, wearing a mask that I expect someone to quickly pull off and kick me out of the party. I’m not sure if what I have to bring to the table is going to change the world, but I will entertain you and make you forget about your crappy day. This is why I push myself so hard, I am up against the best talent there is in both fields, of theater and film, and because I’m the imposter, I have to be better than the best. Luckily, Brelby has become the place that pushes me past my limits. I’ve done things here that I’ve never thought would even be a possibility for me and being at Brelby, surrounded by its artists, has made me learn new skills and continue to move forward everyday.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, at the end of the day I’m going to be the best I possibly can be at what I do. I will work to push myself harder and harder because I have to if I want to become the entertainer I hope to be. I’m grateful that I have found Brelby and somehow became a Company Member, because it has stoked the fire of my perseverance to levels I never thought possible.
Fernando will be launching an Indiegogo campaign for his first feature film, “Sin Alma” on December 1, 2015. For more information, visit the official Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/SinAlmaFilm